One of the pieces I would like to revise would be my cause-effect essay. It was about the day my dog knocked out my 2 front teeth. She jumped over a vacume while my head was hanging over the couch. The idea came to mind when I was thinking of the title of the essay and I looked at my dog and it just came to mind. One of the reasons I didn’t like it was because the topic wasn’t the best. It was difficult for me to write about the effects and the causes were because I had never before thought of the causes and effects of that story. Also the introduction was short and the conclusion didn’t make much sense. There were a few points in the story that were good but most of it was pathetic. The absolute problem with the whole story was that there was not enough events to fit into four paragraphs.
A real knock out!
Vroom! Vroom! The vacuum cleaner whooshed out and in, out and in as my dad was cleaning our living room. He smiled at me while I barked and jumped higher than the moon on my couch. My dog was scared out of her wit, like she always was when we vacuumed.
She was trying to doge the vacuum again. As a result of her dodging the vacuum, I got this wild idea that I as braver than her. My 6-year old imagination took over my logic as I started to bark furiously at the vacuum. "She’s such a scaredy cat!"I yelled at my dad over the vacuum. The vacuum swung near the piano, around the chair, and under the couch. At this time my dog’s tail was between her hind legs. Still believing that I was better than her, my head was hanging over the side of the couch.
I held my head up high and started to bark even louder. Suddenly out of the blue, Sissy jumped over the vacuum. Because she jumped over the vacuum, she hit my chin. It was so hard that you could hear my bottom jaw knock my top jaw. Consequently when she hit my chin, my two front teeth were knocked out. The worst part was that they were not ready to come out, so you can imagine the surge of pain that I felt. As a result, I started to cry.
Six months passed and my teeth still didn’t grow back. At Christmas time brother teased me saying "All I want for Christmas is my 2 front teeth!" It really got on my nerves! My parents were getting worried, as was I. We went to the dentist which made me worry even more. When we told them the whole story, they mentioned "fake teeth". At this point I was completely terrified. The thought of fake teeth was crazy. About a month before our scheduled appointment, both of my sharp white teeth started to tear through my pink gums.
Although my teeth did grow back, it was a terribly long process to get them back. Since the day I lost my teeth, I've never been able to lean over when my dad is vacuuming again! But although I’ve tried to avoid being hit in the chin again, Sissy always manages to hit it again. It (in some weird way) actually taught me to be patient which I am terrible at. I now know that nothing can come back when you want it to. It takes time. All in all, I got my teeth back, and they’re healthier than ever!
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